I type when I feel I have been given something to say. I usually wake up with an idea in my head and an excitement builds until I put it into words. This month has been different, quieter than usual. It's not that God has been silent or distant, but I have not sensed a pull to act.
So I wait.
And I discover my anxiousness comes from wanting to do things in my own time, which is almost always NOW. I formulate a plan for how I want something to go or embrace a vision of my own creation only to forget: what is of God must come from God. It cannot come from me. If I run with what I want and ask him to bless it, it will not be the same as hearing from him what I need to do and acting upon it. And often in those situations, I give myself credit for the outcome.
Wait. Why is obedience in this area so hard? It does not produce tangible results, results I too often hang my value upon.
Waiting is hard, but in the stillness I can hear God's direction better than when I am constantly doing. Listening to him, waiting for a green light is not unproductive. It is right where he wants me, growing closer to him.
Be still and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10a NIV)
Be silent, and I will teach you wisdom (Job 33:33b NIV)
Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary. (Isaiah 40:31 NASB)
God's timing is perfect. I may not know why I am asked to wait, but I choose not to worry about getting something done that was never from him in the first place. I will wait in expectation for his green light before joyfully moving forward.
God, teach me contentment right where you have placed me now. You ask me to seek your face and listen to your truth. I know you have big plans. I trust you with the timing. Amen.