Do I Really Believe?

Do you really believe that what you believe is really real?

     This question from the Truth Project film series caught my attention a few years ago when I first watched it and repeatedly returns for me to grapple with.  How can one question so rock the core of my beliefs? Why does it unsettle me even now?  It is the type of question that cannot be left alone, hanging unanswered in the wind.

     It demands an answer. 

     The quick and correct answer, of course, is yes.  Yes, I believe it is all real.  I base my life on it, don't I?  Then, why don't my actions display my belief?  Why do I not rest in the beliefs like I should?  I decided to examine a few of the basic beliefs that I hold as true. 

• God loves me.

           (1 John 4:16 NIV) "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
           God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them."

• Jesus became a man and shed his blood to pay the price for my sin, allowing me to be pure in God's eyes and have direct access to him.

          (Romans 3:25 NIV) "God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement,
           through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith."

         (Romans 5:1-2a NIV) "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith,
          we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we
          have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand."

• God is glorified in me when I am satisfied in him.

         (2 Corinthians 3:18 NIV) "And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate
          the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing
          glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

         (1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV) "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do,
         do it all for the glory of God."

     God loves me.  Yes, I believe that. I've been told that for as long as I can remember.  Then, how come I do not always love me? If the God of the universe says I am acceptable, cherished, worthy of love, who am I to go against that?  If he is loving and knows what is best for me, why do I worry?

     Do I really believe it?

     Jesus made a way for me to talk to God directly.  Yes, I believe that as well.  Then, why do I struggle with prayer?  Why do I not use this amazing access that I have to Almighty God daily, hourly?  If I believe he is with me always, why do I still feel alone?  

     Do I really believe it?

    God is glorified when I am satisfied in him. Yes, another basic belief I hold. Why, then, do I not give him glory in the everyday tasks he has set before me?  Instead of being satisfied with my place in life, I am often restless, displaying doubt over his wisdom in placing me where he has.

     Do I really believe it?

     Do I  simply know the facts, or have I internalized the beliefs?  Have I allowed them to become a part of my daily life? Perhaps not as much as I originally thought.  The good news is that until I meet him face to face, I have more opportunities to live for him, more chances to glorify him, and more questions to answer.

Do you really believe that what you believe is really real?

     Gracious Lord, you know my faults and failures and accept me anyway. You know what I struggle with and would rather I spend time clarifying than dismissing altogether. You are big enough to handle my questions.  Thank you for giving me a lifetime to walk with you one step at a time. Amen.