An
argument to start to the day, an unexpected twist in the plan, a little behind
in time, and I was tense. When I noticed my teeth were clenched it was too
late. (Place hand over mouth here to keep the scream inside.)
I
needed some chocolate. I needed to escape the chaos. I needed a friend to pour
out my woes upon. All my options felt somehow hollow. I knew they would not
really fill the empty place at the moment.
I
needed... Jesus. I needed to lean fully into the relationship that has never
let me down, or left me alone. In my mind I was drowning in a sea of "why
me, why today's" and his hand was reaching out to pull me up and out of
the storm. Would I grab on or turn away to food, to fleeing, or to other
relationships? Breathe, a little slower this time.
I
accepted the hand and grasped the love offered to me every moment of every day.
The argument still happened, plans were still changed, and we were still late,
but I remembered what was truly important in that moment: a relationship of
pure love and forgiveness. Then, and only then, could I go about my day at
peace.
The Lord himself goes before you and
will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do
not be discouraged. (Deut. 31:8 NIV)
I
spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a
parched land. Answer me quickly, Lord; my
spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who
go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in
you. Show me the way I should go, for
to you I entrust my life. (Psalm 143:6-8 NIV)
"There is always
sufficient reason for despair, but there is never
sufficient purpose." ~Robert Brault
Jesus, I can breathe easily
in our relationship. You are always beside me whispering love. Help me learn
how to overflow with the same love onto those around me. Amen.
*Originally Posted on 8/15/12
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