Presence or Presents

"In the glory of your presence, I find rest for my soul.
In the depths of your love, I find peace - makes me whole."



Traveling home from a worship night at church, belting out the lyrics to "I love your presence", I could not escape the last word: presence. After repeating it several times out loud, it struck me that most of the time when I sing that song, I am really saying, "I love your presents!"

I love your presents.

My heart is full of joy in response to the gifts you bring into my life. I feel close to you because you have blessed me so much. Now, there is nothing inherently wrong with those phrases. But, it is not the point of the song, nor is it the way to find rest and peace.

Why is everyone hungry for more? “More, more,” they say. “More, more.”
I have God’s more-than-enough, more joy in one ordinary day
than they get in all their shopping sprees. (Psalm 4:6-8 MSG)

Presence. What does it mean and how do I get to a place of enjoying his company more than his gifts?

First, it requires silence, yes silence in a loud world. I believe people are scared of being alone with their thoughts and fears. Tune it out and ignore, seems to be the motto of those around me. Rest = stillness. It gives my heart the opportunity to connect with the one who is outside of time.

Second, I focus on his presence when I continually think about the nature of God and remind myself that he is with me always. To bring rest and peace in a busy day, I turn to him over and over again. Once in the morning, right before bed, or for an hour on Sunday, as if he's a booster shot of love, does not allow me to find the depths of his love. Nor does it make me whole.

I love your presence.

...Me? I plan on looking you full in the face.
When I get up, I’ll see your full stature
and live heaven on earth. (Psalm 17:15 MSG)

When I enjoy his presence, peace does not depend on my circumstances, his gifts, or lack thereof. Because his presence and love never change, I do not have to worry. I can rest in the knowledge that he does not act outside of his nature, that everything he does comes from a heart full of grace and perfect unconditional love.

 

"If you want it, come and get it...  

This love that he has given you

was never in doubt."



God above and God right by my side, I want to sit at your feet and enjoy all you have for me. Help me resist the temptation to allow my praise to be dependent on my circumstances. Your presence is truly all I need. Amen.

Questioning Why

I do not claim to understand all the mysteries of God and the way he does things or refrains from doing things. Answers frequently elude me. I freely admit to questioning why.

Why? Why? Why?

Why do some people have to suffer so much?
Why do my prayers seem to go unanswered?
Why is it so hard to see the big picture?
Why is it difficult to trust that his hand of love is on every situation?

And why do I only question WHY when I do not agree with what is happening?

I do not question why God allowed me to be born in America. I do not ask why he gave me a loving husband and three healthy children. I never ask why I am privileged to openly study and write about him. It doesn't even occur to me to do so because it seems right that those things are as they are.

What I perceive as a positive situation only happens because he allowed it to. What I perceive as a negative situation only happens because he allowed it to, and it will one day fit into some ultimate good he is working toward in my life and the lives of others.

I am not expected to understand. My part in all this is to trust and to praise him for what he is doing, especially when I feel clueless. Do I have the courage to respond like Job?

Then {Job} fell to the ground in worship and said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." (Job 1:20-21 NIV)

So, the alternative to a string of WHY's is PRAISE. Worshiping who God is always takes my eyes off of my problems and puts them on the ultimate solution: Jesus. One simple way I like to praise him is to use each letter of the alphabet as a start for a trait of his that I adore. Long before I reach Z, I am overwhelmed by his love and peace.

A - Ageless
B - Before and Behind
C - Constant
D - Dependable
E -

And so on and so on. What a way to answer the question I was not even asking - who are you, rather than why are you. Perhaps if I ask Who more often, the Why will seem less important.

Ageless, constant, dependable one who goes before me and behind me, forgive me for doubting you have a purpose for all you do. Thank you for the blessings you have allowed in my life. Help me to focus on you and what I know to be true rather than on what I perceive to be unfair and unjust. Amen.

When it's Winter on the Inside

Several times I stared at a blank page. My mind wandered but never found it's way back to anything worth sharing. More questions than answers. Heavy. Hollow. Numb. So went my August. Everyone around me was out in the sun. I struggled to crawl out from under covers.

Sometimes life is like that.

It is impossible, and not helpful, to live all of life on a warm sandy beach. It is hard to see at the time, but the valley of the shadow of doubt, or "dark night of the soul," as monk Thomas Merton calls it, is an important piece in the puzzle of life. When hard times come, we have an opportunity to transcend circumstances. Like Paul, we can discover how to be content both in adversity and prosperity. His primary goal in life was to know Christ and make him known, not to avoid tribulation or achieve success. To him, it mattered little which circumstance he was currently facing. Both propelled him toward his highest goal.

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:11-13 NIV)

Jerry Sittser, in A Grace Revealed, explains, "It is a simple and easy task to live by faith when light shines all around us and God provides ample evidence of his presence, goodness, and power... Faith always comes easy when it isn't really needed... Predictability is not always good, control not always preferable, happiness not always ideal."

Though I do not desire them, I need times of darkness to expose the true light of my life. I need disappointment to expose my character. I need confusion to bring me to my knees before the one who really controls the universe.

When the things of this world are stripped away, I focus more easily on what is eternal. Currently, I am gazing intently on the unrelenting love of God and the relationship he himself enjoys and invites me into.

I believe tomorrow's forecast might include sun.

Sun on my face and Son in my heart, thank you for the Apostle Paul and the gift of perspective. And for never, ever leaving me alone or giving up on shaping me into the person you know I was meant to be. Amen.

Touch and be Touched

I was driving when I read it, a sign that took my attention away from the road the rest of the trip. Too lost in thought to focus ahead, I'm grateful I arrived safely. The words tugged at me.

The bumper sticker was on the back of a very old, beautiful car - baby blue, chrome, and a proud driver at the wheel. It requested, "Look, but please do not touch!"

Understandable, I guess. It was his car, to be admired from a distance. But I wondered, what's wrong with touching? Will it really hurt the car? Are dirt and fingerprints all that bad? It is, after all, a car- driven on roads that are not exactly clean.

Why did this phrase distract me from being the safe driver that I am? Because it struck me - most Christians carry this request as well.

Look, but please do not touch!

Look at me and the life that I live, but please do not touch it! Please do not make it dirty by getting close! Admire, but keep your distance! I don't want to risk losing my shine by getting involved in your mess.

There is no reward for staying the cleanest.

There are, however, crowns for compassion, blessings for loving as Jesus loved, and fulfillment in filling the needs of others. Getting involved in the lives around me is why I am here on earth for the blink of an eye. I have been blessed to be a blessing. Reaching out to touch another life is one of the best ways to stop being concerned about what is happening, or not happening, in my life.

Compassion and worry cannot coincide.

And honestly, but for the grace of God, it could be me. I could be the one needing food, a job, hope. I could have made bad choices, leading to rough circumstances. I could still lose everything this world deems valuable. What, really, is guaranteed this side of Heaven?

I want a different sign: one that says, "Look. Come close. Find help and hope."

 

When my days on Earth are over, I want to enter Glory with finger smudges, tear streaked cheeks, and calloused knees. 

If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? (Matthew 5:46a NIV)

Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you. (Matthew 5:48b MSG)

God of compassion, shape my heart after yours. I want to risk getting involved in the mess of brokenness around me. Give me a love that cannot be explained in this world, which prides itself on spotlessness. Show me where I need to think less of myself and more of others. You are especially fond of each and every one of them. Amen.

Trust His Heart

"Sing me a song we've never sung before!"

This is the request I receive almost every night as I tuck my three year-old into bed. Most evenings I think for a moment, decide on some obscure song I've heard in the last week, and do my best rendition to appease the young audience member.

But a few nights ago while racking my brain, a song bubbled up from some deep spring and surprised me. It had been hidden for years, apparently waiting for the right moment to surface. The last time I heard it, I was sitting next to my parents in a church that burned down decades ago.

And the timing for this song was perfect.

"God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart"

A song I've never sung before? Not quite.
A song I need to sing more often? Most certainly, yes!

When I don't know the reasoning behind what is happening in my life, I can still trust His heart. When I don't know what the next step in his plan for me is, I can still trust his Heart. When I start to fear that I am alone, I can still trust His heart.

And His heart is always good because it is always LOVE.

As the Jesus Storybook Bible puts it, this is a "Never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever LOVE!"

By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me-

 a prayer to the God of my life. (Psalm 42:8 NIV)

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. (1 John 4:16 NIV)

I just might have to convince my daughter to let me sing this song over and over again.


God of love, I trust your heart. Thank you for reminding me with truth I did not even know was hidden for years. Guide me as I share this truth with my children. Help me to trust that you will bring it to the surface when they need it in their lives as well. Amen.

One Small Desire

It wasn't a huge concern. It wasn't something I was necessarily worried about. I hadn't been dwelling on it for a long time. It was simply a desire of my heart.

My mother had given me three glass dessert cups that had belonged to my grandmother. They were pretty and it made me smile when I used them. Three cups does not make a set, so I wished to find one (or more) similar cups.

I hoped to find one at a garage sale or resale shop. Honestly, I didn't make a big deal about it. I didn't pray that I would find one.

I just knew that God delights in giving us the desires of our hearts when we are abiding in Him continually.  So, I continued to seek his face.

To my amazement, the little treasure was at the very first resale shop I browsed through. The store had only one glass dessert cup on the shelf. One cup - a perfect match to the other three I had at home.

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4 NIV)

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33 NIV)

I believe all these things refers to the thousands of little details of my life. The one who created my heart knows how to make me smile, and does it quite regularly. I see him blessing me in ways that I do not even asked to be blessed.

An unexpected gift here. A "coincidence" there. A quiet moment of beauty that shifts my focus to Him. When I open my eyes, I see his hand holding mine and leading me though an amazing adventure.

Yes, one little glass cup = one great big smile with a heart full of gratitude.


Generous Lord, I love to delight in the gifts you give me. I know you love to give them. I want all the praise and glory for my blessings to go to you. You constantly amaze me! Amen.

Worry Cycle

Reading through a few older posts this week, I came across The Life Cycle of Worry.
It was a good reminder for me to examine the cycle I am currently on.

Here are the two cycles:

Life Cycle of Worry

- Devil Tells Us Lies AND We Believe Them
- Life Expectations Take Root  "Life Should be This Way"
- We Feel Entitled to Comfort
- Fear of Losing Control Grows
- Distrust God's Plan
- Feel Responsible For Outcomes in Life
- Worry
- If Worry Comes to Fruition, Lies Intensify
- Cycle Begins Again


Life Cycle of Joy

- Immerse Ourselves in Christ, Our Living Water
- Disregard Lies of the Devil
- Grow Realistic Life Expectations  "He Will Meet Our Needs"
- Trust Him More
- Freedom From Fear
- Content With Life We Are Given
- Experience Joy
- Desire to Be One With Christ Intensifies
- Cycle Begins Again

I don't want to be trapped in worry, so I choose to draw closer to God. That is the first step in breaking the worry cycle. Time in truth trumps time listening to lies.

Lord, I want to turn my eyes to you and remain on the cycle of joy.