When it's Winter on the Inside

Several times I stared at a blank page. My mind wandered but never found it's way back to anything worth sharing. More questions than answers. Heavy. Hollow. Numb. So went my August. Everyone around me was out in the sun. I struggled to crawl out from under covers.

Sometimes life is like that.

It is impossible, and not helpful, to live all of life on a warm sandy beach. It is hard to see at the time, but the valley of the shadow of doubt, or "dark night of the soul," as monk Thomas Merton calls it, is an important piece in the puzzle of life. When hard times come, we have an opportunity to transcend circumstances. Like Paul, we can discover how to be content both in adversity and prosperity. His primary goal in life was to know Christ and make him known, not to avoid tribulation or achieve success. To him, it mattered little which circumstance he was currently facing. Both propelled him toward his highest goal.

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:11-13 NIV)

Jerry Sittser, in A Grace Revealed, explains, "It is a simple and easy task to live by faith when light shines all around us and God provides ample evidence of his presence, goodness, and power... Faith always comes easy when it isn't really needed... Predictability is not always good, control not always preferable, happiness not always ideal."

Though I do not desire them, I need times of darkness to expose the true light of my life. I need disappointment to expose my character. I need confusion to bring me to my knees before the one who really controls the universe.

When the things of this world are stripped away, I focus more easily on what is eternal. Currently, I am gazing intently on the unrelenting love of God and the relationship he himself enjoys and invites me into.

I believe tomorrow's forecast might include sun.

Sun on my face and Son in my heart, thank you for the Apostle Paul and the gift of perspective. And for never, ever leaving me alone or giving up on shaping me into the person you know I was meant to be. Amen.

Touch and be Touched

I was driving when I read it, a sign that took my attention away from the road the rest of the trip. Too lost in thought to focus ahead, I'm grateful I arrived safely. The words tugged at me.

The bumper sticker was on the back of a very old, beautiful car - baby blue, chrome, and a proud driver at the wheel. It requested, "Look, but please do not touch!"

Understandable, I guess. It was his car, to be admired from a distance. But I wondered, what's wrong with touching? Will it really hurt the car? Are dirt and fingerprints all that bad? It is, after all, a car- driven on roads that are not exactly clean.

Why did this phrase distract me from being the safe driver that I am? Because it struck me - most Christians carry this request as well.

Look, but please do not touch!

Look at me and the life that I live, but please do not touch it! Please do not make it dirty by getting close! Admire, but keep your distance! I don't want to risk losing my shine by getting involved in your mess.

There is no reward for staying the cleanest.

There are, however, crowns for compassion, blessings for loving as Jesus loved, and fulfillment in filling the needs of others. Getting involved in the lives around me is why I am here on earth for the blink of an eye. I have been blessed to be a blessing. Reaching out to touch another life is one of the best ways to stop being concerned about what is happening, or not happening, in my life.

Compassion and worry cannot coincide.

And honestly, but for the grace of God, it could be me. I could be the one needing food, a job, hope. I could have made bad choices, leading to rough circumstances. I could still lose everything this world deems valuable. What, really, is guaranteed this side of Heaven?

I want a different sign: one that says, "Look. Come close. Find help and hope."

 

When my days on Earth are over, I want to enter Glory with finger smudges, tear streaked cheeks, and calloused knees. 

If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? (Matthew 5:46a NIV)

Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you. (Matthew 5:48b MSG)

God of compassion, shape my heart after yours. I want to risk getting involved in the mess of brokenness around me. Give me a love that cannot be explained in this world, which prides itself on spotlessness. Show me where I need to think less of myself and more of others. You are especially fond of each and every one of them. Amen.

Trust His Heart

"Sing me a song we've never sung before!"

This is the request I receive almost every night as I tuck my three year-old into bed. Most evenings I think for a moment, decide on some obscure song I've heard in the last week, and do my best rendition to appease the young audience member.

But a few nights ago while racking my brain, a song bubbled up from some deep spring and surprised me. It had been hidden for years, apparently waiting for the right moment to surface. The last time I heard it, I was sitting next to my parents in a church that burned down decades ago.

And the timing for this song was perfect.

"God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart"

A song I've never sung before? Not quite.
A song I need to sing more often? Most certainly, yes!

When I don't know the reasoning behind what is happening in my life, I can still trust His heart. When I don't know what the next step in his plan for me is, I can still trust his Heart. When I start to fear that I am alone, I can still trust His heart.

And His heart is always good because it is always LOVE.

As the Jesus Storybook Bible puts it, this is a "Never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever LOVE!"

By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me-

 a prayer to the God of my life. (Psalm 42:8 NIV)

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. (1 John 4:16 NIV)

I just might have to convince my daughter to let me sing this song over and over again.


God of love, I trust your heart. Thank you for reminding me with truth I did not even know was hidden for years. Guide me as I share this truth with my children. Help me to trust that you will bring it to the surface when they need it in their lives as well. Amen.

One Small Desire

It wasn't a huge concern. It wasn't something I was necessarily worried about. I hadn't been dwelling on it for a long time. It was simply a desire of my heart.

My mother had given me three glass dessert cups that had belonged to my grandmother. They were pretty and it made me smile when I used them. Three cups does not make a set, so I wished to find one (or more) similar cups.

I hoped to find one at a garage sale or resale shop. Honestly, I didn't make a big deal about it. I didn't pray that I would find one.

I just knew that God delights in giving us the desires of our hearts when we are abiding in Him continually.  So, I continued to seek his face.

To my amazement, the little treasure was at the very first resale shop I browsed through. The store had only one glass dessert cup on the shelf. One cup - a perfect match to the other three I had at home.

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4 NIV)

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33 NIV)

I believe all these things refers to the thousands of little details of my life. The one who created my heart knows how to make me smile, and does it quite regularly. I see him blessing me in ways that I do not even asked to be blessed.

An unexpected gift here. A "coincidence" there. A quiet moment of beauty that shifts my focus to Him. When I open my eyes, I see his hand holding mine and leading me though an amazing adventure.

Yes, one little glass cup = one great big smile with a heart full of gratitude.


Generous Lord, I love to delight in the gifts you give me. I know you love to give them. I want all the praise and glory for my blessings to go to you. You constantly amaze me! Amen.

Worry Cycle

Reading through a few older posts this week, I came across The Life Cycle of Worry.
It was a good reminder for me to examine the cycle I am currently on.

Here are the two cycles:

Life Cycle of Worry

- Devil Tells Us Lies AND We Believe Them
- Life Expectations Take Root  "Life Should be This Way"
- We Feel Entitled to Comfort
- Fear of Losing Control Grows
- Distrust God's Plan
- Feel Responsible For Outcomes in Life
- Worry
- If Worry Comes to Fruition, Lies Intensify
- Cycle Begins Again


Life Cycle of Joy

- Immerse Ourselves in Christ, Our Living Water
- Disregard Lies of the Devil
- Grow Realistic Life Expectations  "He Will Meet Our Needs"
- Trust Him More
- Freedom From Fear
- Content With Life We Are Given
- Experience Joy
- Desire to Be One With Christ Intensifies
- Cycle Begins Again

I don't want to be trapped in worry, so I choose to draw closer to God. That is the first step in breaking the worry cycle. Time in truth trumps time listening to lies.

Lord, I want to turn my eyes to you and remain on the cycle of joy. 

I Wish I Had Learned - Part 2

30 Things I Wish I Had Learned Before I Turned 30:
(In the order they come to mind, not of importance)

To read Part 1 first, click HERE 


Be interruptable.. by those you love, by strangers, by God. You may have a plan for your day, but that doesn't mean it's the only plan there is, or even the best one. When attention is pulling you elsewhere, consider it might be where you need to go.

Thank others sincerely and often. There is no better way to get your eyes focused on what is really important than being thankful.

Listen (really listen) to your elders. Ask questions and drink deeply from the cup of wisdom that comes with age. And do not leave without giving and receiving a hug.

Take the first step of inviting friends into your life. Too many people sit back and wait for others to befriend them. Find someone who makes you laugh and in the next breath challenges you to be a better version of yourself. If at first you are rejected - try, try again.

Decide not to let what "THEY" think of you matter. Who are "THEY" anyway? Only the opinion of the eternal one matters. Listen to what people say about you, access the truth in their words, then quickly move on.

Leave each situation better than you found it. If there is a way you can help, speak truth, or shine for Him, take the opportunity - no matter how insignificant it seems.

Pause before making impulse decisions to determine if they are being made because 1) you have all the information you need already, or 2) you are trying to avoid giving conviction enough time to change your mind.

If someone offers to help you, let them. Be specific about the help you need. Some seasons of your life will allow time for helping others and some will be dominated by accepting help from others. Accept the season you are in at this time. Allowing others to help bless you is a blessing in itself.

Check the premise of your "should." When you think or announce, "I should..." discover why. Is your "should" based in truth or a lie?

Always be prepared to wait longer than expected. It does not need to be wasted time. If you don't have a book, snack, or crayons (for those with kids, always have crayons), you have your imagination and the ability to pray.

Be intentional about the music you listen to and the things you watch. Lyrics linger and mindless entertainment does affect your thoughts.

Spend time discovering specifically what you need from the ones you love, then tell them gently and repeatedly, if necessary. Only God can read your mind. It is rare to find a couple who communicates too much.

Glance toward Heaven and at His Word before looking around you each day. Unlimited wisdom, love, peace, help, etc... is available. All you have to do is ask.

Keep an eternal perspective on the time you have been given. Give attention to what truly matters in this life and run from what distracts from your ultimate goal. Learn to think in "decades" rather than "days."

And finally...

Dream Big. Pray for your one little life to ripple across eternity. God honors the desires of a pure heart that asks, "May they only see the back of me as I lead them closer to you, Lord."

I Wish I Had Learned - Part 1

30 Things I Wish I Had Learned Before I Turned 30:
(In the order they come to mind, not of importance)

* Children are usually listening when you hope they are not and rarely are when they are supposed to. Guard the door of your mouth wisely. Think twice about whether what you are about to say is of any value in the Kingdom of God.

* People seldom spend their time on what they say they value the most. Your time and wallet reflect the truth about what is deep in your heart. If something is important enough to you, you will find the time to make it happen.

* Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, not just others. There is nothing you can do that is beyond Jesus' forgiveness. How then can you harbor unforgiveness in your heart toward others? Let it go and move on.

* Turn everything off. Often. Silence is rare today. Everyone seems to be afraid of what might happen if they are alone with themselves and God. Unless you are still for more than the time it takes to switch gadgets, how can you expect to hear from Heaven?

* Memorizing scripture is not a task to check off the "I should be doing that" list. It is a weapon to use against the enemy when warfare seems the strongest. It is an overwhelming sense of peace when long forgotten truths are recalled. At the end of life, no one ever regretted spending time hiding these truths in their heart or teaching them to their children.

* Discover what delights your heart and make time to do it often. Unless you fill up with joy and love, you will not flow out joy and love.

* The people you love most in life will at some point let you down. Being human means making bad choices and saying things you should not have said. Everyone does this. Even David, the man after God's own heart, was an adulterer and murderer. Go easy on others and offer grace when true repentance is expressed.

* Do not expect people who do not have a relationship with Jesus to act like they do. People either act out of the love or lack of love that is in their hearts. Shine God's love everywhere you go, but do not be surprised when it is not reflected back to you from nonbelievers.

* Do not judge others. Period. There may be a reason you are not aware of that they are doing what they are doing. God is the ultimate judge. You were never asked to be part of the jury.

* Learn how to see yourself as God sees you. The ability to love others begins with the ability to love yourself. Ask him to show you the truth of who you are to him. Then, keep your eyes and ears open to the possibility that maybe, just maybe, you are more valuable than you think.

* Figure out how to handle conflict in a healthy way. If you are ever around others, conflict will happen. Avoiding it now makes the situation twice as hard later. If ignored, unresolved bitterness and anger will explode in a destructive way.

* Just because someone is on a stage or has a lot of fancy letters after their name, it does not mean they always speak truth. Test everything against the plumb line of the Word of God and the prompting of the Spirit inside you.

* Think about tomorrow, plan for the future, but be fully here now. Today is not a dress rehearsal. You get one chance to do what you are doing right now. Slow down, glance around, and look into the eyes of other people. You are guaranteed the moment you are in, nothing more.

* Strive for a healthy body because you want to honor God with the temple he gave you, not because you want to impress others or earn love and praise. You are loved completely just as you are now. Take care of the vessel he has temporarily given you to the best of your ability.

* Learn what makes those closest to you in life feel loved, then do those things often. People tend to express love as they enjoy receiving it, but God created every one so differently. Ask, and then act. Repeat this cycle often.

To be continued...