My husband patiently waited for his opportunity to provide for our family while deer hunting last fall. He enjoyed the opportunity to think and pray, immersed in nature and relative silence. One prayer centered around reassurance that God would provide what we need as a family. My husband shared with me, "I told God that if he brought a deer over the ridge just then, I would know that he was going to provide for us, and I would not have to worry." Instead of a deer, more than a dozen turkeys descended from the hill. Both our minds came to the same conclusion. Perhaps God was saying, "I will provide for your family, just not in the way you expect."
God has a habit of surprising me. He changes my plans, brings people into my life, and orchestrates "coincidences" more often than I can recount. I have learned to expect the unexpected and to keep an open mind to his solutions to problems. When I do, I am less frustrated that things do not go my way and more able to give God credit for getting my attention creatively.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV
Now when problems are solved in ways my husband and I do not anticipate or blessings come unexpectedly, we turn to each other and comment, "Must be the turkeys!"
I thank you, Lord, that your ways are so much higher than my own. I confess I do not always enjoy not knowing how you will provide. Help me to rest in your promises and trust that you never let go of me. Amen.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
My Flexible To-Do List
Cleaning the refrigerator was at the top of my list for the day, mainly because I had run out of Tupperware and knew many containers were hiding on the bottom shelf. A bit further down the list was making sure each household member has clean underwear available for the next day and planing a nutritious evening meal young children will consume. Check. Check. And, partial check. On to the next item.
Most mornings I wake with a general idea of what my day will look like and what needs are most pressing. I know how I want them to do done, but circumstances beyond my control often step in to undermine my strategy. A phone call that requires immediate action, a forgotten ingredient for a meal to run after, a red light when all seven on the street should have been green for me, all disrupt my day.
I find myself battling against time, wondering why it is so hard to get everything done. Or, get everything done with the right attitude by the time I fall into bed at night.
Perhaps I have misunderstood the whole purpose of my day. Maybe the point of my day is not to get things done, but to be content while being the hands and feet of God in whatever I am doing.
"I found satisfaction in the doing of life, not in the getting done of it," Jerry Sittser explains in A Grace Disguised. His clarity came while mourning the loss of three family members to an accident in one night. To-do lists were no longer as important to him as what he called "the wonder of the present moment."
In Waking the Dead, John Eldridge comments, "Either we wake to tackle our 'to do' list, get things done, guided by our morals and whatever clarity we may at the moment have. Or we wake in the midst of a dangerous story, as God's intimate ally, following him into the unknown."
If my leftovers lurk on dark shelves for another day because a friend needs to talk to me, so what? If dinner for the night is hot dogs (again) because I would rather read a book with my toddler than go out in the snow for a forgotten ingredient, fine. I choose to enjoy the moments. I choose to put my agenda on hold when God's becomes obvious to me. After all, I really do not know how many moments my life will hold.
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her. (Luke 10:39-42 NIV)
Jesus, I want your list to be my list. I want to be open to what you have planned for my day. Give me wisdom and a content heart as I face the challenges placed before me. Thank you for a new-found perspective on my purpose. Amen.
Most mornings I wake with a general idea of what my day will look like and what needs are most pressing. I know how I want them to do done, but circumstances beyond my control often step in to undermine my strategy. A phone call that requires immediate action, a forgotten ingredient for a meal to run after, a red light when all seven on the street should have been green for me, all disrupt my day.
I find myself battling against time, wondering why it is so hard to get everything done. Or, get everything done with the right attitude by the time I fall into bed at night.
Perhaps I have misunderstood the whole purpose of my day. Maybe the point of my day is not to get things done, but to be content while being the hands and feet of God in whatever I am doing.
"I found satisfaction in the doing of life, not in the getting done of it," Jerry Sittser explains in A Grace Disguised. His clarity came while mourning the loss of three family members to an accident in one night. To-do lists were no longer as important to him as what he called "the wonder of the present moment."
In Waking the Dead, John Eldridge comments, "Either we wake to tackle our 'to do' list, get things done, guided by our morals and whatever clarity we may at the moment have. Or we wake in the midst of a dangerous story, as God's intimate ally, following him into the unknown."
If my leftovers lurk on dark shelves for another day because a friend needs to talk to me, so what? If dinner for the night is hot dogs (again) because I would rather read a book with my toddler than go out in the snow for a forgotten ingredient, fine. I choose to enjoy the moments. I choose to put my agenda on hold when God's becomes obvious to me. After all, I really do not know how many moments my life will hold.
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her. (Luke 10:39-42 NIV)
Jesus, I want your list to be my list. I want to be open to what you have planned for my day. Give me wisdom and a content heart as I face the challenges placed before me. Thank you for a new-found perspective on my purpose. Amen.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Consider it Pure Joy
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials
of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."
(James 1:2-3 NIV)
"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.
You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open
and shows its true colors." (James 1:2-3 The Message)
I have read this verse hundreds of times. I try to keep it in mind when those "trials" come up in my life. Most often the last thing I do is consider it a joyful experience or see it as a gift. This week when I deliberately decided to put this verse into practice, I was surprised at the blessing that followed.
My vacuum cleaner decided (prematurely) to retire. I was cleaning, anticipating orderliness, when plans suddenly changed. I knew that we did not have room in the budget for a new, dependable vacuum. I had a choice to make. I could either worry about how to pay for a new one, or, I could give my need, my "trial", over to God and see what happens. I decided to go for the latter option.
My prayer went something like this: "God, I cannot wait to see how you are going to provide a vacuum for us." Simple. Hopeful. Trusting. He knew we needed one. I simply put the ball of providing it for us in his court - joyfully. Then, I waited.
A few days later I was telling my brother-in-law about the new plastic, upright statue I have in my house. He said that a friend had just returned an extra one to him that he had borrowed for over a year. He had been wondering what to do with the extra one. Both of us felt blessed by the exchange. Coincidence? Some people might think so. I know better. God orchestrated the timing just right and showed once again that he cares about even the smallest trials in my life.
The following day I was able to bless a friend with an extra baby gate that I was not using anymore. God provided for me and gave me an opportunity to do the same for someone else. I love when prayers are answered in such a tangible way, and what a joy to be the answer to someone's prayer as well.
God does not always step in to save the day in this way. Then again, I do not always turn to him the way I did for this need either. I wonder what would happen if I considered it pure joy more often?
Giver of all good and perfect gifts, thank you. When trials come my way, please help me to consider them pure joy and look for the good that will come out of them. You know all of my needs before I even ask. Yet, asking you to provide reminds me who owns everything in the first place. I love seeing your creativity in situations. Continue to open my eyes to your hand at work. Amen.
The following day I was able to bless a friend with an extra baby gate that I was not using anymore. God provided for me and gave me an opportunity to do the same for someone else. I love when prayers are answered in such a tangible way, and what a joy to be the answer to someone's prayer as well.
God does not always step in to save the day in this way. Then again, I do not always turn to him the way I did for this need either. I wonder what would happen if I considered it pure joy more often?
Giver of all good and perfect gifts, thank you. When trials come my way, please help me to consider them pure joy and look for the good that will come out of them. You know all of my needs before I even ask. Yet, asking you to provide reminds me who owns everything in the first place. I love seeing your creativity in situations. Continue to open my eyes to your hand at work. Amen.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
The Only Resolution I Need
I do not enjoy making resolutions for the new year. Rather, I have not been inclined to make them because I know I will not keep them. I try. I fail. Discouragement sets in as another year goes by. I struggle with most of the same issues I did before. There has to be a better way, I hope.
From a quiet place inside I hear, "What if it is not about you doing anything, but about you allowing something?"
What would happen if this year I simply allow my heart to be filled with love for Jesus and accept his love for me? One resolution - all I need. If I focus on this alone for the new year, more and more of my life will fall into place, the place where he wants it to be: immersed in him.
I am not sure entirely what this looks like. I know it starts with acknowledging his presence from the moment I wake up in the morning. It continues with seeking guidance in my decisions throughout the day. It concludes with thankfulness for what he has done for me. And all the moments in between? They revolve around seeing his hand at work everywhere, delighting in his love for me through the things that stir my heart.
Wake up again. Repeat.
Could it possibly be that simple? Allow my heart to be filled with love for Jesus and accept his love for me. Yes, I feel the weight of doing more, being different, and changing behavior lifted.
Allow. Accept. I think I will try that this year.
"For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those
whose hearts are fully committed to him. (2 Chron. 16:9 NIV)
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." (Matt. 5:8 NIV)
Jesus. Jesus! Fill my heart with your love. Open my eyes to see your love for me. Strengthen my heart as I walk boldly into a new year with you. Help me to keep my gaze focused on you instead of on my circumstances. You know what this year holds for me. Prepare my heart for the trials that are around the corner and out of sight. Amen.
From a quiet place inside I hear, "What if it is not about you doing anything, but about you allowing something?"
What would happen if this year I simply allow my heart to be filled with love for Jesus and accept his love for me? One resolution - all I need. If I focus on this alone for the new year, more and more of my life will fall into place, the place where he wants it to be: immersed in him.
I am not sure entirely what this looks like. I know it starts with acknowledging his presence from the moment I wake up in the morning. It continues with seeking guidance in my decisions throughout the day. It concludes with thankfulness for what he has done for me. And all the moments in between? They revolve around seeing his hand at work everywhere, delighting in his love for me through the things that stir my heart.
Wake up again. Repeat.
Could it possibly be that simple? Allow my heart to be filled with love for Jesus and accept his love for me. Yes, I feel the weight of doing more, being different, and changing behavior lifted.
Allow. Accept. I think I will try that this year.
"For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those
whose hearts are fully committed to him. (2 Chron. 16:9 NIV)
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." (Matt. 5:8 NIV)
Jesus. Jesus! Fill my heart with your love. Open my eyes to see your love for me. Strengthen my heart as I walk boldly into a new year with you. Help me to keep my gaze focused on you instead of on my circumstances. You know what this year holds for me. Prepare my heart for the trials that are around the corner and out of sight. Amen.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Do I Really Believe?
Do you really believe that what you believe is really real?
This question from the Truth Project film series caught my attention a few years ago when I first watched it and repeatedly returns for me to grapple with. How can one question so rock the core of my beliefs? Why does it unsettle me even now? It is the type of question that cannot be left alone, hanging unanswered in the wind.
It demands an answer.
The quick and correct answer, of course, is yes. Yes, I believe it is all real. I base my life on it, don't I? Then, why don't my actions display my belief? Why do I not rest in the beliefs like I should? I decided to examine a few of the basic beliefs that I hold as true.
- God loves me.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them."
- Jesus became a man and shed his blood to pay the price for my sin, allowing me to be pure in God's eyes and have direct access to him.
through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith."
(Romans 5:1-2a NIV) "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith,
we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we
have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand."
- God is glorified in me when I am satisfied in him.
the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing
glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."
(1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV) "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do,
do it all for the glory of God."
God loves me. Yes, I believe that. I've been told that for as long as I can remember. Then, how come I do not always love me? If the God of the universe says I am acceptable, cherished, worthy of love, who am I to go against that? If he is loving and knows what is best for me, why do I worry?
Do I really believe it?
Jesus made a way for me to talk to God directly. Yes, I believe that as well. Then, why do I struggle with prayer? Why do I not use this amazing access that I have to Almighty God daily, hourly? If I believe he is with me always, why do I still feel alone?
Do I really believe it?
God is glorified when I am satisfied in him. Yes, another basic belief I hold. Why, then, do I not give him glory in the everyday tasks he has set before me? Instead of being satisfied with my place in life, I am often restless, displaying doubt over his wisdom in placing me where he has.
Do I really believe it?
Do I simply know the facts, or have I internalized the beliefs? Have I allowed them to become a part of my daily life? Perhaps not as much as I originally thought. The good news is that until I meet him face to face, I have more opportunities to live for him, more chances to glorify him, and more questions to answer.
Do you really believe that what you believe is really real?
Gracious Lord, you know my faults and failures and accept me anyway. You know what I struggle with and would rather I spend time clarifying than dismissing altogether. You are big enough to handle my questions. Thank you for giving me a lifetime to walk with you one step at a time. Amen.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Is Jesus Still an Infant?
My two year old daughter sat on the kitchen floor holding a Christmas book, examining each page carefully before moving on to the next. When I asked her what she was looking for, she replied, "Finding Baby Jesus!" Squeals of delight upon spotting the tiny infant in the manger erupted, followed by a toddler's rendition of "Jesus Loves Me."
Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves you!
I marveled at the simple joy in her heart and was brought to tears thinking about how the Lord is preparing her little soul for one day accepting him fully as her Savior. My prayer is that she delights in Jesus more and more as she learns about who he was as a baby and who he is as an adult.
Jesus was a baby boy. He was perfectly sinless, completely God and completely man. At this time of year, my focus is certainly on the infant and how he came to dwell among mankind. It is easy to accept this Jesus. It is easy to love and adore this baby. But can I surrender to this Jesus, or teach my daughter to trust him one day?
If Jesus never grows up in her mind, how will he be able to hold the problems of her world in his hands? If Jesus is still spitting up milk, how can she trust him to speak truth from his lips? If the miracle of his birth is not one day paired with his sacrificial death, he remains in the manger, hundreds of years removed from her day to day life.
"And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man." (Luke 2:52 NIV)
I look forward to revealing more and more of Jesus' life to my little girl. I long for her to experience his peace and presence as I have so dearly. I want her to be in awe of the infant and be awed by the love Jesus has for her.
Jesus, thank you for submitting yourself to the rules of nature so that I might identify with you more fully. You are love itself, wrapped in a blanket and wrapped in all the power of Heaven. Please give me wisdom as I teach my little ones about your birth, life, and death. May they one day realize that you are the only perfect gift to the world. Amen
Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves you!
I marveled at the simple joy in her heart and was brought to tears thinking about how the Lord is preparing her little soul for one day accepting him fully as her Savior. My prayer is that she delights in Jesus more and more as she learns about who he was as a baby and who he is as an adult.
Jesus was a baby boy. He was perfectly sinless, completely God and completely man. At this time of year, my focus is certainly on the infant and how he came to dwell among mankind. It is easy to accept this Jesus. It is easy to love and adore this baby. But can I surrender to this Jesus, or teach my daughter to trust him one day?
If Jesus never grows up in her mind, how will he be able to hold the problems of her world in his hands? If Jesus is still spitting up milk, how can she trust him to speak truth from his lips? If the miracle of his birth is not one day paired with his sacrificial death, he remains in the manger, hundreds of years removed from her day to day life.
"And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man." (Luke 2:52 NIV)
I look forward to revealing more and more of Jesus' life to my little girl. I long for her to experience his peace and presence as I have so dearly. I want her to be in awe of the infant and be awed by the love Jesus has for her.
Jesus, thank you for submitting yourself to the rules of nature so that I might identify with you more fully. You are love itself, wrapped in a blanket and wrapped in all the power of Heaven. Please give me wisdom as I teach my little ones about your birth, life, and death. May they one day realize that you are the only perfect gift to the world. Amen
Friday, December 16, 2011
The Choice to Worry
- How to greet my family in the morning
- What to think about in the shower
- What to wear today
- When to leave the house for my meeting
- What to talk about with my kids in the car
- Where to sit at my meeting
- Whether I spend time today worrying about our finances
Thousands of choices are before me every day. Some are automatic, habits ingrained due to repetition. Most happen in a matter of seconds. I do not always think about the choices that I make or even recognize them as choices. Worrying falls into this category. It is a choice, a bad habit that can be (and should be) broken with prayer and persistence.
Prayer helps my heart focus on truth. I ask God to first make me aware of the times I am worrying. It is similar to carrying a large suitcase around with me all day. It is a heavy and tiresome load to bear. The contents are precious to me, but I do not trust others to care for it as I do. My choices are clear. Do I continue in my effort, furthering my frustration and exhaustion? Or, do I choose to bring the baggage before my God and leave it with him?
Sometimes I leave my load with the Lord only to pick it up again the next day.
Now I am faced with the choice of beating myself up about the backslide, or trying to let go again. So many times I focus on the first option, when persistence is what I really should choose. So, I go to God once more in prayer and ask for forgiveness and the strength to try again. And again. And again.
I have heard that it takes at least four weeks of doing the same thing over and over again to form a habit. I imagine it takes a bit longer than that to break one. If I keep choosing to trust my Heavenly Father with the issues I am worrying about, after awhile it will get easier and easier to do. Perhaps it will become second nature some day, like getting ready in the morning. I will wake up, get out of bed, set my suitcase at the foot of the one who is strong enough to carry it, and begin my day.
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
(Matthew 11:28-30 The Message)
Thank you Lord for thousands of opportunities each day to trust you. Help me not to get discouraged when I make poor choices, but to turn to you again and again. I know your desire for me is to live a worry-free life. Show me where I am not trusting you fully. Amen.
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