My To-Don't List

I don't plan on ever having my lawn grace the cover of a magazine. I love to dig in the dirt and move perennials around, but sometimes my dandelions are blooming better than any flower I own. I have made peace with this. I do not worry what the neighbor who sprays any weed within 5 feet of her yard thinks. I refuse to waste my energy on that.

I don't keep a pristine kitchen. I use every surface of that room so often, I figure if I scoured them all every time, I might as well move the bed and toilet in there too. I'd never get to leave. Nothing is growing fur or emitting strong odors, so I probably would get off with a warning from a health inspector. I am past worrying about what a friend stopping by might think. I refuse to waste my energy on that either.

What else don't I do? I don't make to-do lists anymore. I always felt bad I didn't finish crossing everything off. They just aren't for me. I know, I know, so many swear by them. I found a better list to make: a to-don't list.

Instead of the pressure of what I have to do, I will remember what I have given myself permission to release. And I will take a few deep breaths in relief that I am not called to do it all. It's perfectly ok to do some things well, attempt some things mediocrely, and admit to not even trying others.

I don't care that my smart phone would land below the bell curve compared to most peoples'. I have a much lower than average phone bill to make up for it. I don't put pressure on myself to wear name brand clothes. I am keeping some decent attire from retiring in a landfill prematurely. I don't buy a lot of music or books because my library has so much to offer. Plus, I can request they buy something if it's not available. What a beautifully free system! I don't compare my van to one that just rolled off an expensive lot. I can get where I need to go in what God has provided us for now.

Comparison, high expectations, busyness every night, and worry that I'm not doing enough are on my list. I am one woman with only so much time in this life. I will trust that God will use my attempts and my failures for His glory. I am of no help to the kingdom frazzled and full of envy of those who can do more and have more.

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life. (Ephesians 6:4-5 Msg)

See what freedom you can find by making a list of what you are not going to do. And watch how time for what you consider to be most important appears. Let go of unreasonable expectations and worry. Receive peace and grace.

"Father, thank you for releasing me from the dangerous trap of keeping up with the Jonses. I am called to do tasks you place in front of me, and no more. Help me to practice contentment with the season I am in now. And thank you that no one in my family has gotten food poisoning from my less than spotless kitchen. Amen"

A Difficult but Necessary Choice

This week we have a choice to make. No, it's not whether we vote or refrain. It's not even who we vote for. Our choice is to live fearful of the future or to stand firm in faith in the God who is bigger than the individual ruling this country.

It's easy to get swept away in the tide of opinions and fear coming from all parties involved. "This election, more than any other, will determine the direction of our country," they say. We hear arguments all around: blaming, begging, and belittling. Worry casts a shadow on each face as they discuss the pertinent issues. Don't get me wrong, the candidates and what they stand for are very important, but we are thinking too small.

We are focusing on who will lead our country, not on who will guide our nation with a loving but firm hand. No matter who lays their head to rest each night on that expensive White House pillow, we cannot forget that God never slumbers. He establishes kingdoms and causes them to crumble. The outcome of this election will not shock Him.

Will a Godly candidate lead us boldly over the next four years? Highly unlikely. Could God soften the President's heart and lead him or her into choices that will honor Him? Absolutely. Will He? Time will tell. More likely is that our country will continue to deny the one whom this nation was established upon. We will reap the consequences of shutting Him out of our government, schools, and lives. It will be hard. Christ followers will continue to be the minority, standing boldly against a growing darkness.

But if more darkness seeps in, it is because the light of the world has allowed it - for a time. Let us not think He has lost control. He wins in the end! Victory goes to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, who conquered death, sin, and our enemy (who sets himself up to have more power than he really does.) Sometimes it has to get a lot darker before we collectively call for more light. Sometimes we have to be brought to a place of needing Him daily before we admit that we do.

The easy reaction to uncertainty is worry. It's scary to think about what may be at the bottom of this roll downhill and how it will effect future generations. The wise but often difficult reaction is choosing to stand firm in faith. Commit to praying for our President often. Get involved in our government. Care deeply about issues that are near and dear to God's heart. And as often as you can, tell others why you continue to have hope. Boldly declare, "Thy Will be Done!" and stand in wonder as He crafts His plan, ushering us closer to eternity.

Why the big noise, nations?
Why the mean plots, peoples?
Earth-leaders push for position,
Demagogues and delegates meet for summit talks,
The God-deniers, the Messiah-defiers:
“Let’s get free of God!
Cast loose from Messiah!”
 
Heaven-throned God breaks out laughing.
At first he’s amused at their presumption;
Then he gets good and angry.
Furiously, he shuts them up:
“Don’t you know there’s a King in Zion? 
A coronation banquet
Is spread for him on the holy summit.”

So, rebel-kings, use your heads;
Upstart-judges, learn your lesson:
Worship God in adoring embrace,
Celebrate in trembling awe. Kiss Messiah!
Your very lives are in danger, you know;
His anger is about to explode,
But if you make a run for God—you won’t regret it!

(Psalm 2:1-6, 10-12 MSG)

Almighty, bring this nation to it's knees in humility and worship of you. It is going to be hard to have faith that this will work out for our good, but give us strength to hold our heads high and resist the temptation to worry. We are on the winning side and no amount of darkness can take us out of your hands. Amen.

 

A Small Revision to Isaiah's Verse

The word was not simply in the verses I was reading, Isaiah decided to use it three times. Well, the Spirit guiding Isaiah's pen or quill or chisel (what does a prophet write with anyway?) chose to use the word. Somehow, being annoyed at Isaiah's writing rather than God's seems more holy. If I were on the receiving end of this revelation, I would kindly suggest changing the word, when, to if.

But now, this is what the Lord says—
    he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."
(Isaiah 43:1-3a NIV, emphasis added)

"If" seems gentler, safer. Possibly, you might run into a little trouble at some point in the future, but I'll be there. "When" hints at imminent gale force winds and untamable mountain wildfires. No, thank you. I'd rather stay on the sunny shore praising God for the picturesque sunset. See, I prefer a calm life. I like who I am and how I respond when plans go, well, as planned: a smile on my lips and a bounce in my step. Deep water and fire are frightening. 

Why do I need the storms in my life? Why does God, who knows what's best for me, think that trials should be included in my story? He knows that my response on rough days reflect my true character. He understands that I need a proven track record of him consistently showing up for me. He is aware that the only way to nudge me toward more holy responses is to take me out of my comfortable shelter. 

So, I cling to His words, "I will be with you. They will not sweep over you. You will not be burned." If I must go through hard times, then I must believe in his promises. My loving Lord never leaves me on my own. He uses trials for my good, though I may not see it that way at the time. My perception of the events do not change the fact of his care. He is a solid foundation, a rock when my hopes and plans drift away like sand. With each passing storm, I cling tighter and am more assured that His strength will pull me through the next squall beyond the horizon. 

I am thankful Isaiah followed the Spirit's prompting as he wrote. He must have written those words, tears falling on the parchment, reflecting on God's faithfulness to his people both now and forevermore.

Constant one, thank you for shaping me into who I am meant to be. Though I do not enjoy the rough seas, I know it is how you choose to take me to places I would not choose to go on my own. Help me to cling tightly to your unchanging love and strength. Give me peace regarding whatever trials may come in the future. I know you will never leave me to handle them on my own. You will give me sufficient grace when I need it most. I will trust you without worrying. Amen.

 

One Small Step

I wrote this piece for my church bulletin and wanted to share it here as well. 

                                                       One Small Step

I make hundreds, possibly thousands, of choices every day. Only sometimes do I stop and contemplate the outcome before making them. The longer I have been on this Christian walk, the more I notice how much say God wants to have in the choices I am making – even the seemingly insignificant ones. My choices determine the path I walk and have a huge impact on not only my future, but the future of others as well.

God places before me an abundance of opportunities to turn toward him in obedience, to set my agenda aside and listen for his prompting. Since I am his sheep, I believe I hear his voice. No, not announced from a megaphone, but stirring in my spirit and whispering words that I know did not originate with me. Then, the direction I take is up to me. 

I want to go where he wants me to go. I long to have an amazing ministry. I want to be a source of overflowing love for my family, acquaintances, and perfect strangers. But how do I get from where I am now to where I want to be? I take one small step at a time.

I don’t think that the spiritual giants we all admire simply became that way overnight. Each one began by taking a small step toward God in obedience. Then, they took another step, and another. They trusted God in simple matters and obeyed when the spirit spoke to their hearts. The men and women time remembers got accustomed to hearing his voice and obeying quickly. When they proved trustworthy in small matters, God put them in charge of great ones. Even the Apostle Paul had to start somewhere. He turned toward God so often, turning his back on God ceased to become an option. 

Clare DeGraaf, author of The Ten Second Rule observes that, “True godly character is forged less by a few, big dramatic decisions than the cumulative impact of thousands of small acts of simple obedience.” He says that prompt obedience, acting seconds after feeling a spiritual nudge, is ideal. When we wait and consider if we really have time for this interruption to our day, we are less likely to obey. We can always rationalize our way out of a seemingly silly suggestion that may or may not be from God. However, I would rather follow God’s lead without fully understanding why, than have to ask myself, “What would have happened if I had done what I believe he was leading me to do?”

Hebrews 4:7b says, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.” Stop. Listen. Then, take a step toward eternity. I assure you, it will lead to your heart’s deepest desire: intimacy with God.

God, I thank you that I can hear your voice when I am still long enough to listen. Help me to be looking for opportunities to follow your lead daily. I want to be known as someone who reached out beyond my comfort zone and showed you love to others whenever possible. Amen.

Cheating on my Church

Is cheating on my church with another church considered a sin?

It started out innocently enough, as I hear most forbidden relationships do. I put my foot in the door by signing my kids up for a class the church was offering. What caused me to tread on shaky ground? Time with other women one morning each week. Time to worship and learn while my children were being lovingly cared for out of earshot. Peace and adult conversation = Holy bliss! Amen!

In my defense, I hadn't lived in the area long enough to know it was one of "those" churches. You know the ones. Those who frequented sometimes stepped out of their pews. Actually, they didn't even really have pews. Sometimes, individuals moved more than the socially acceptable shifting of weight while worshiping. They even prayed for impossible things - aloud, and actually thought God might answer.

You know, "those" churches.

Different. Forbidden to someone who grew up on the other end of the spectrum. Except it was never explicitly stated that a church like that was forbidden. No one sat me down for the denomination talk and explained why we didn't do the things they did. Somehow over the years, my nose gravitated toward up at styles that I was not accustomed to.

I didn't understand why anyone would feel the desire to worship or pray as some of those people did, until I stood among sincerity, freedom, and, completely foreign to me: unashamed adoration.

My love affair began slowly. At first I listened to the words others were singing so passionately, and thought how wonderful it would be if I actually believed every phrase like the song leaders seemed to. And not only believed, but lived like I believed. I felt a desire to raise my hands in praise. I felt the weight of glory and fell to my knees. An awareness grew slowly within. I could no longer contain the love that I was feeling inside without some form of expression.

Freedom of expression was a world I never knew I longed to explore. But I got glimpses of abandonment in praise in others and secretly wanted more for myself. Many times the thought crossed my mind, "What would my husband, family, fellow pew sitters think if they saw me now?" It was quickly chased away with truth whispers of, "I delight to see you delight in me," and "Come away with me, my love."

See, I was beginning to allow His love to penetrate the walls around my heart. And the response to receiving so much love is to give love in return.

At first, I practiced my new freedom in the safety of that odd church. Did it seem awkward at first? Yup. But I slowly let go of worrying about what those around me thought about how I was praising my savior. The more lost in love and worship I became, the less others opinions of me mattered. Worship without worries took on a new meaning. Then, a few times a month or once a week was not enough. I looked forward to worship like it was Christmas morning and I was going to unwrap the biggest gift. I was hooked.

Casually from the stage, someone commented about their home worship, even dared to call their living room a worship center. The concept was foreign to me. I could have these stolen kisses and forbidden freedom any time I wanted? Sure, I put on praise music sometimes while I cleaned or cooked. I even danced with my daughter once, when the resounding chorus forbid my feet to stand still. But could calling on my Savior solo stretch beyond knees bent in prayer?

I had to find out. Could this possibly be the source of the freedom and peace my heart longed for?

I decided to get up before dawn and children. It felt sneaky but if Jesus could do it, I could to. I prayed. I read Psalms. I turned on some music. And I gave the Spirit permission to take me where he wanted in praise. I do not want to tell you much about my time together. It's too personal, too sweet and just what I needed. But I have tasted glory and will not go back to normal, casual encounters being okay enough.

Do I still go to my acceptable church? Of course. It has lots of great qualities and is sincere in diving into the Word of God. Do I visit that other church occasionally? Yes and amen. I feel at home in both. God is in both churches and He is in me. Worship happens anywhere, when I turn my heart toward him in thanksgiving. I am so glad God broke through my comfort level tenderly.

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Corinthians 3:17 NIV

"Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord, my soul. I will praise the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live." Psalm 146:1-2 NIV

A sweet hymn I am coming to appreciate more and more: In the Garden

God of glory, thank you for showing me what delights I was missing by judging others. I want to want to spend more and more time in your presence. Fill my heart with so much love that it cannot be contained. Amen.

Out of the Silence

It has been over a year of silence on this blog. I continue to be amazed that people are still coming, still reading, still curious. The silence was not for lack of God's work in my life. No, the silence was a waiting on His timing. The silence here was a sense of being overwhelmed and unsure. How do I put into words what has transformed since the pain and the letting go began? What has he taught me and what needs to be shared?

Trusting God is safe. Not necessarily comfortable, but safe in the unseen realms. He knew how many of my fears would not come to fruition. He knew that my pain would help others learn empathy and trust. He knew I would run to Him and be protected by mighty warriors.

Letting go lets love in. When I said, "Have your way," He ushered in peace and hope once again. He healed deep wounds between my husband and I. He gave me the capacity to love my children more than I thought I could. He showed me how he too laid down his life for others.

Life is not meant to be a solo adventure. The more that seemed to go wrong in my world, the more comfort I found with letting others know I was falling apart. I needed a group of witnesses surrounding me and pointing me back to truth. In weakness I was born and in weakness and humility I find His strength. There is no shame in relying daily on the one who really has the control.

Seek and you will find. I asked for more and I got more. I've seen glimpses of him and his plan. In sorting through the yuck in my heart, I have more room for understanding and love. Hungering and thirsting for more of Him has been the most amazing adventure in my life. I can't wait to see what is just around the river-bend.

Some lessons, I guess, must be learned by time, pressure, and pain. But this weekend I was reminded that that is how diamonds are formed. A new song he gave me: "Diamonds", by Hawk Nelson.

"It's here in the ashes, I'm finding treasure.
He's making diamonds out of dust. He is refining.
In his timing, He's making diamonds out of us."

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. Isaiah 43:2 NIV

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. Psalm 28:7 NIV

My deliverer, you are faithful and strong. In my weakness may others see your strength, and turn to you. Thank you for never leaving me. Thank you for the privilege of  serving you and for opening my eyes to your love more and more every day. Amen.

Debbie

The Danger of Bold Prayers

Six months ago I meant every word I said to him. Arms spread wide on my living room floor, tears streaming down my cheeks, and more peace in my heart than I thought a lifetime could hold, I asked him to use me. Not in a small way. Not just to impact my family. Not only that day or month. I had a big vision and wanted to play a role in impacting the world. Any way you choose, I said. I am willing.

Six months ago I imagined how this yes to him would progress. I saw myself speaking truth, obeying each prompting, shining brightly so others would ask questions. My excitement over new clarity was evident. Worry was not even on the radar.

Yet, one month ago I was face down on my pillow, tears streaming down my cheeks, enduring more pain than I thought a body should have to face, and asking God big questions. "What good am I to you if I am in pain all the time?" "Why won't you heal my headaches?" "Was I wrong to trust you?" "Why does pain have to be a part of my story?" "What are you doing in all this?"

See, I had said yes, but I forgot to tell him he could use me any way except in a way that brought me or my family pain. There was no addendum. I didn't specify to make it easy, convenient, stress-free, or simple, although I probably silently hoped that would be the case.

When I opened wide my arms, I let go of control. I gave up the right to be upset about the way he chose to direct my steps. Am I happy that I hurt more days than I don't. Of course not. I didn't cease being human and wanting life to be comfortable.

But what if comfortable and easy are not what is going to shape me into the person he wants me to be? What if struggling produces perseverance and character and hope? What if my testimony reaches farther from a bedside than it does from an auditorium? I have no idea what all is taking place behind the scenes, who is learning what lesson, or how this will play out two or twenty years from now.

After all my questions that night, with tissues surrounding my pillow, I fell asleep with a heart full of peace. He has been beside me - within me - every minute of every hard and easy day. And really, I don't want to be in control of how this plays out. I don't have enough wisdom to orchestrate my life and make it as fruitful as possible.

My life is in his hands. I prayed a bold prayer and expected great results. Dangerous? Absolutely. I trust that the results will be greater than I could have ever imagined. Somehow this is weaving together for my good and his glory.

And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Romans 5:2b-4 NIV)

There’s far more to this life than trusting in Christ. There’s also suffering for him. And the suffering is as much a gift as the trusting. (Philippians 1:29 MSG)

...all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant—dog dung. I’ve dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Christ and be embraced by him. I didn’t want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting Christ—God’s righteousness. I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself. (Philippians 3:8-10 MSG)

God, I have no idea what you are doing right now in my life with this suffering, but I know that you are always in control. You never leave me and nothing is wasted. You are weaving together a much greater story than I could ever imagine. I am so glad I have been given a glimpse of the glorious ending. I do not regret my bold prayer. Help me to walk with you in that boldness each day. Amen.

Redeeming Everything

A normal August = sunshine, beach, prolific garden, evening bike rides, laughter, family time...

August 2014 = migraine, pain, doctor visits, unanswered questions, rebound headaches, medicine, hours in bed, no energy, frustration, ER bills, neglected husband and children, whispered prayers...

My worry of the month: Will this end? It's amazing how quickly I let hope slip away. I need to see the light at the end of this tunnel. Just like my husband promised long ago to have and to hold in sickness and in health, Jesus promised to stay close in good times and bad. When the pain gets so intense I cannot open my eyes, I need to remember I don't need my eyes to see Jesus. It's okay for rivers of prayer to roll down my cheeks.

"Just Cry" by Mandisa
Why you gotta act so strong
Go ahead and take off your brave face.
Why you telling me nothing's wrong
It's obvious you're not in a good place
Who's telling you to keep it all inside
And never let those feelings get past
The corner of your eye

You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It may be tomorrow you'll be past the sorry
But tonight it's alright
Just cry

I know you know your Sunday songs
A dozen verses by memory
Yeah, they're good but
Life is hard and days get long
You gotta know God can handle your honesty
So feel the things your feeling
Name your fears and doubts
Don't stuff your shame and sadness
Loneliness and anger
Let it out, let it out

Doesn't mean you don't trust him
Doesn't mean you don't believe
Doesn't mean you don't know
He's redeeming everything

On the day I wed my awesome husband (or as I saw him referred to on one of my kids' drawings, Invincible Daddy), his grandmother gave us a beautiful box full of hand-written scriptures. Most of them had dates on the back and phrases written as to why they were meaningful to her. This month I have been choosing one at random to meditate on each day. On some mornings, it's about all the reading I can handle. But it is enough. I want to share my ponderings over yesterday's verse: 1 Thessalonians 5:24.

The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.

The One: So many vie for the spot at the top of my priority list. God is the one. He is jealous for me. He wants my whole heart and attention. When my eyes are fixed on the one, so much else in life either makes sense or fades into it's rightful place in the background. One of my favorite breath prayers recently: (Inhale) You are, (Exhale) I AM.

Who Calls: Because he calls, I can answer. I can hear him. He calls, continues to call, and will never stop calling. Webster defines call as: 1) to speak in a loud distinct voice so as to be heard from a distance 2) to make a brief visit 3) to request to come or be present.

You: Yes, he is calling others too, but he specifically calls me. He has words for me, words that speak directly to my heart and situation.

Is Faithful: Present tense. He is and continues to be faithful. He has a history of being trustworthy, giving constant support and love. What he promises, he will do. My full faith can be placed in him.

And He Will: He is capable, and certain to act. He responds to me personally. I can trust his active presence in my life.

Do It: He has done, continues to do, and will do more in the future. He is not detached. Whatever promise "It" is, I can rely on. In the verse just before this one, "It" refers to: May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

God of peace, I am glad you keep my whole spirit, soul and body blameless right now. My doubts, fears, and worry during this challenging time in my life will not be held against me. I know who I believe in and am persuaded that you are able to keep me in your arms until the day I see your face. Amen.

Meditating on Him

I was listening to a Podcast about God's power when a phrase caught my attention. My attention needed to be caught because I was unsuccessfully multitasking on the computer, distracted and not focused on any one thing entirely. Well, I was, until the pastor started talking about meditating.

May my meditation be pleasing to him, as I rejoice in the Lord. (Psalm 104:34)

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

Worry, he said, was meditating on the cares of this world. The only way to obtain inner peace is to meditate on the things of God.

...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Philippians 4:8)

The only way I can successfully do this is by frequently taking my eyes off of my circumstances, taking my ears away from all the negative messages around me, and taking my feet to a place of solitude.

Be still, and know that I am God... (Isaiah 46:10a)

Continually turning my thoughts, my meditation, to Him is not easy in this society. Everything around me screams, "Do not be content with what you have! You need more stuff, but you don't need anyone's help!" What I need is a helmet and earplugs to drowned out all the messages that are contrary to His.

Be still.
Meditate on the things of God.
Remain in perfect peace.
Yes, yes, and yes.


Prince of peace, I turn to you. When the world tries to draw me away, I will continually meditate on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. Thank you for catching my attention and reminding me of these truths. Amen.

When You are Thrown in the Valley

A late night phone call that wakes you from peaceful slumber into a reality too scary for nightmares. Phrases spilling from the lips of a well-trained doctor that you refuse to believe you are hearing. A split second that sets into motion a chain reaction you so desperately wish you could undo. Words you never imagined coming from someone you trusted.

Shattered, confused, and defeated you trudge slowly on wondering what just happened. The illusion of invulnerability has vanished. The idea that because you are a believer, pain will be kept at bay from you and your family has been tested.

As believers, we all face a time in our lives when the events surrounding us collide with the hope of what we believed was supposed to happen. An accident, illness, sudden death, betrayal, or shattered dream leaves us shaken and searching for truth. We live in a world full of brokenness. The ramifications of sin touch more than just those who commit it.

The decision to trust the truth of God's word rather than the facts of our circumstances is hard to make in the depths of the valley. Perhaps that is why God gives us a glimpse as to what lies ahead. He tells us in the book of John, "I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.” 16:33 MSG

You will continue to experience difficulties.

It's not a possibility or a probability, but a certainty. Instead of worrying about what may come, may I propose that we be prepared for it. Not by trying to control what is happening around us, but by strengthening our trust in the one who offers complete peace in the midst of the difficulties. He says we can be unshakable, assured, and deeply at peace. Choose ahead of time to lean towards trust when we are tempted to doubt his goodness.

For those in the valley of brokenness right now, choose to keep looking for hope. Read about God's unconditional love, cry out to him, and ask for his peace. Understand that most events in our lives on this side of the curtain will not make much sense. Because he declared, "I've conquered the world," we can believe it is all in his hands. Instead of asking why repeatedly, ask who will I become in the midst of this struggle, how will this draw others closer to you, and what do you want me to do next.

For those who have been on the mountaintop for awhile, be thankful but be realistic. A valley could be closer than you realize. Instead of fearing the future, link arms with the one who will help you walk through it. Only when we close our eyes for the last time in this world, will our troubles be completely eliminated. Praise God that we do not have to face each new day alone!

The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all. (Psalm 34:19 NIV)

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. (2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NIV)


God of the mountain and of the valley, help me to trust completely in you regardless of my circumstances. You do not change. Your love is complete and enough to help me face each new day. Thank you for taking the mess of this world, and turning it into something beautiful. Amen.

This Thing Called Family

FAMILY (n): The group of individuals who live in my house, laugh and cry with and at me, and don't complain when I forget to apply makeup.

Some days I think this family thing couldn't be more ideal. I'll receive a peanut butter smelling neck hug from a princess pirate who wants to be close to her mom rather than in front of a screen. Or, I'll come home to find my boys have played "pick up the house for mom". Yes, it's actually happened. On those days, I think, I am so lucky to be going through this life with them.

Other days I'm glad I didn't know what I was getting into when this journey began. Because I might have changed my mind. Those are the days when I'll stand in the middle of the house I cleaned the day before, glance in a circle at the mess around me, and wonder if Dorothy and her red sparkly shoes had it all wrong. When the decibel level on arguments drowns out any semblance of peace, I want to slam the door and find a neighbor with a porch and rocking chair.

It's hard. It's wonderful. It's relentless. It's fulfilling. It's the life I have chosen, but not exactly as I had imagined. And that's okay, because I could not have anticipated how much joy could come from seeing pure delight in the faces of my children. I had no way of knowing how much my heart could hurt when another human being was in pain. The highs of my mountaintops have astonished me and the lows have almost taken me out, but I press on. Both experiences together shape who I am today.

It's impossible to know all that tomorrow holds. Honestly, I think it's much more of an adventure if the route isn't exactly outlined for all to see. I know who I want to travel with and our destination for all eternity. In each moment between now and then, I get to choose how I see this unit called my family.

I choose to see them as a gift from my creator, who lives in the only perfect triune family. I decide to trust that the circumstances I find myself in are not by accident, but are being used for his glory and my ultimate good: making me more like him. Will I be happy about everything that goes on inside our four walls? Goodness no. It's still not okay to paint smiley faces on bedroom walls and carpet with black shoe polish. But down the road (years down the road) I can laugh and tell a few great stories.

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it" ... God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. Genesis 1:27-31a NIV

Who am I, Sovereign Lord, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? 
2 Samuel 7:18b NIV

He and all his family were devout and God-fearing; he gave generously to those in need and prayed to God regularly. Acts 10:2 NIV

Thank you, wise Father, for choosing these four individuals to help shape me into a more compassionate, patient, loving woman. I trust that you will give me what I need in moments when I think I have failed miserably. You redeem brokenness and honor prayers from the lips of souls set on living for you. Amen.

It is Finished

I picture him alone in the garden, head in his hands wrestling with his own humanity - Jesus, the King of Kings and Jesus, the Son of Man. Knowing what was to come and asking for strength, he poured out his heart to the only one who understood. His spirit, soul, and body in perfect agreement as he boldly declared, "Not my will, but yours be done."

Betrayed by a friend, mocked and beaten, then found guilty by those who prided themselves on the rules of religion. The angry mob shouted, "Let his blood be on us and on our children!" Jesus stood tall and silent. The prophetic words echoed deeper truth than his accusers realized. Cover us! Cover our children!

It had been the plan all along.

Led to a hill and humiliated before all, he refused to draw upon his power to summon thousands of angels to save him. Instead, breathless and bloody, full of anguish but never losing hope, Jesus declares, "It is finished!" The culmination of the greatest rescue operation ever planned. Every ounce of love the creator of the universe had, poured out one crimson drop at a time. For me. For you.

"It is finished!" The last sacrifice was slain. The gap between holiness and sinfulness erased with one final heartbeat. The sky darkened and the earth trembled as tears of sorrow and joy flowed from Heaven.

What response could possibly do justice to the depth of this sacrifice?

Believe that it is finished. Trust and refuse to live in condemnation. Accept his forgiveness and love. Walk boldly in the freedom that was purchased for you. The King of Kings and Lord of Lords believes you are worth dying for.




(Luke 22:42, Matthew 27:25, John 19:13)

*THE Relationship

An argument to start to the day, an unexpected twist in the plan, a little behind in time, and I was tense. When I noticed my teeth were clenched it was too late. (Place hand over mouth here to keep the scream inside.)

I needed some chocolate. I needed to escape the chaos. I needed a friend to pour out my woes upon. All my options felt somehow hollow. I knew they would not really fill the empty place at the moment.  

I needed... Jesus. I needed to lean fully into the relationship that has never let me down, or left me alone. In my mind I was drowning in a sea of "why me, why today's" and his hand was reaching out to pull me up and out of the storm. Would I grab on or turn away to food, to fleeing, or to other relationships? Breathe, a little slower this time.

I accepted the hand and grasped the love offered to me every moment of every day. The argument still happened, plans were still changed, and we were still late, but I remembered what was truly important in that moment: a relationship of pure love and forgiveness. Then, and only then, could I go about my day at peace.

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deut. 31:8 NIV) 

I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land. Answer me quickly, Lord; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. (Psalm 143:6-8 NIV)

"There is always sufficient reason for despair, but there is never sufficient purpose." ~Robert Brault

Jesus, I can breathe easily in our relationship. You are always beside me whispering love. Help me learn how to overflow with the same love onto those around me. Amen.

*Originally Posted on 8/15/12